I haven't made a post for a smurfing long time already. Sowie ya, lazy to open my account. Sometimes, when things happen you've just gotta let it out by just writing on a paper. I love papers but I like blogs too,kay? This is not a matter of pilih kasih, i guess. -.-

Holidays was uh well, nothing special. First we went to Genting(as usual), was so angry because of WAITING, and then watch SMURFS with Ahjie since we were gilaly bored, Watch a play called DARKER SHADE OF RED in KLPAC with AHJIE and eat homemade steamboat today and watch more and more disney movies and run with Hazel and Ahjie in padang. I guess that's all. Well, 1 week of holiday is still ok. 2 weeks, is sho boring. 2 months holiday, i'll give you that annoyed face. 4 months, i'll jump from a high level, NAH i'll jump from the table to the floor for a several times just to avoid boredom. Ahjie's holiday is ending and she's giving those happy cheerful faces with her hands up yeah i know. Doctors, can't leave their books. But seriously 4 months holiday it's just too long. So after Ahjie's gone, it will just be me alone at home eating lunch and Mi's gonna give a enormous BLAH at home. Eek. Anyway, I'll miss ya, Ahjie. And Ahjie's *living dog* Amber. *barks!* xD

It's already 1:57 a.m. I'm still awake. Mi, Ba and Ahjie also. Hazel? SLEEPING OFCOURSE ;P Today, just wanna talk about Courage-Fear. Well, Ahjie always tells that I always like wanna copy people and I'm always so uptight about not being good or what. But seriously, AHJIE It's not that I want to copy people just to be better or what. I'm just think I'm useless that's all.

Really useless, actually. Yes, I know I should not always blame myself for something when It's not even my fault. But I really think that I'm useless because of a word-Courage.

Courage, it's a 'thing' that I really lacked of. I'm always scared. I'm always afraid. The lacking of courage always stops me from something. It's like I'm trying to go through a hole but the hole is too small for me to go through .

So I just stand there. Like a fool. Unable to just go with the feeling of fear. What a dumbo I am, eh? Well, maybe Courage is something hidden deep down of me. Maybe Courage is waiting for me to make Fear vanish and someday come back to Courage.

So, when will that 'someday' come? After days, or months, or years? Gosh. That day, when that burglar jump in our fence Ahjie informed Mi and Mi was shouting for help. And what did I do? Ahjie asked me to close all the doors and I was so scared that I was doing nothing. So useless. VERY USELESS! If I just called the police or something that STUPID BURGLAR HAD BEEN CAUGHT BY NOWWWWW.

You coward, XJ. You timid little one. Stop being like a mouse. Well, I'm not Peter pettigrew. But just try to be fearless or something and just accept the challenge. I don't even give chances to myself to face the challenge and go with it and forget about my FEAR. ISHHHHH. The reason of giving up Public Speaking and Prefect is because of fear, too. ARGHHHHH.

Although I fear a lot of stuff, I will do something right when I have to, though. But it's so rare. Like once in a blue moon.

Ah well, someday I'll will battle with Fear like how Harry battled Voldemort. He fought Voldemort for so many years. Harry's scared of Death but he brings up his courage and KILL Voldemort. So I should be as brave as Harry James Potter too. I'm gonna kill FEAR with my uh, wand and be brave enough to face my Fear.

Someday, I'll finally gonna let Courage go. I need time, I guess. Not kill Time. But Time to kill Courage. The key-Courage will lock up Fear. Ahba also have the phobia of driving since that Mad Accident. Also hope that he have the courage to forget that car crash incident.

经过时间的洗漓 ，我们一定能走出黑暗的日子，重见光明。：）

EVERYBADE, 加 油 ！

I won't let you down, Godric Gryffindoor. x)

May Courage and Fear balance up my life, k Bye!